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....What midterm that's due Tuesday? *shifty eyes*

A while back on Tumblr, I posted a prompt from an image (forget which one it was now) that someone write what the Doctor was thinking while he was inside the Tesslecta, laying "dead" on the beach. Someone did fill it and it was a good fill, but I wanted more angst so I tried my hand at it. I'm not terribly good at angst 'cause I'm more of an optimistic person (IF YA COULDN'T TELL) soooo let me know if I can elaborate anywhere to tug at those heart strings a bit more. Un-beta'd. Barely proofread.

If anyone else wants to tackle this prompt, 'cause I think it's a good one, feel free!


This is not happening.

No way could this possibly be happening.

Amy Pond wretched herself from River’s and Rory’s grasps and ran over to the lifeless body of her best friend. She curls up and hugs herself, refusing to believe that he is dead.

She lowers herself onto his body as her body racked with sobs, begging him to wake up. She asks her husband what they could do. She meant how they could prevent it from happening. River says they had to dispose of the body.

This is not happening.

***

The Doctor watches from inside the amazing mechanism as River Song in the astronaut suit shoots her plasma gun at him. Once. Twice. He presses the controls to put the Tesselecta through a false regeneration. Bringing the microphone to his mouth, he says, “I’m sorry,” and is shot a third time. He kicks on the surveillance mode. Now it’s time to wait for the last possible moment to leave. River will know what to do.

And this was all the records told him. The Doctor gets killed at Lake Silenco in Utah at 17:02, 22/4/2011. He only gave a passing consideration how his best friends would react.

Amy rushes over to the Tesselecta and immediately begins sobbing. She’s in complete denial and says he must be a duplicate. His hearts are in his throat. Oh god, Amy… Brilliant, beautiful Amelia Pond. How could he do this to her. Each sob that escapes from her wells more tears up in his eyes.

He remembers the first day he met her. So tiny, so young. This amazing little mystery of a girl who wasn’t afraid of him yet scared of all the right things. The girl who didn’t make any sense. The girl who waited. She wacked him with a cricket bat and slammed his tie in a car to trap him all in the same day. She talked quick and smart to Winston Churchill and went face-to-face with not only a Dalek, but Weeping Angels. Amy Pond has saved worlds and near-extinct beings. She has swung from a pirate ship, swinging a sword. She is married to the very last Centurion and gave birth to River Song. She made her own sonic screw driver.

The Doctor is suddenly overwhelmed with the compulsion to go back on his plan to hug his Amelia right back, tell what his plan was going to be and how he couldn’t go through with it because he just couldn’t stand to watch her cry. His hand wavers over the lever to take the Tesselecta out of the surveillance mode.

He could do it. All of her pain would be over. Hasn’t he already put her through so much? He ruined her childhood, nearly ruined her marriage, and eliminated alternative time-lines and false versions of her. Hasn’t he done enough damage to this woman? Not to mention her family?

His hand grips the lever.

Then he hears Canton and River’s voice, explaining that the body must be destroyed. River. The sound of reason.

Fixed points cannot be rewritten.

The Doctor removes his hand and lets Amy cry. He is so, so sorry.
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January 2014

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